it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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