So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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