when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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