So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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