I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
