I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
