I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize