singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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