Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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