your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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