epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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