I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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