So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
vagina is talking i cant
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
