Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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