Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
