Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
