but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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