I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
