I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
