I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
