idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
