Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
