I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
