Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize