after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
