dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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