so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
This house was built for laser tag.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
