i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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