i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize