i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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