Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
