Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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