i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
