You work out of a Hotel?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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