Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Randomize