She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
