my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
