Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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