Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
