jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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