I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
