The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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