i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
