she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
high people should be assigned attendants
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
