Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
My balls are so social today.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Randomize