just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
