so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
