We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
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