Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
