If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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