Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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