I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
