Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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