You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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