My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
