I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
