she looked like the before picture.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks