her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.