For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
