you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I want a musical about memes.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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