Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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