This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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