Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
