I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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