garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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