I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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