Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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