I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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