need another drink. this is the easiest way
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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