At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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